{Extra Story 2} Boy’s Friendship
After school, Ichigo Hakamada sat on the grassy slope behind the school building, staring off into the distance.
“Haahhh…”
Ichigo let out a long, heavy sigh.
Ichigo wasn’t involved in any club activities, so he normally went straight home as soon as school ended. But today, he wasn’t in the mood to go home, so he had come to this secluded spot instead.
The activities of the girls’ tennis club, some distance away in front of him, were within his field of vision, but to Ichigo right now, they were nothing more than scenery.
“Why the hell am I having to go through this…?”
Ichigo pulled out a few blades of grass from the ground and let them fall loosely in front of him.
The innocent blades of grass were carried sideways by the wind. He followed them aimlessly with his eyes, and at the end of his gaze he spotted a boy who had placed a large basket beside him and was desperately pulling weeds.
Apparently, he had already finished clearing the weeds from the schoolyard in front of the building.
Irritated.
“Damn you, Hiroto…”
Ichigo had spent the entire previous week dealing with the fallout from the Youmas, including Goukou, who had taken on Hiroto’s appearance, who had appeared last week.[TN: I know I used to use term ‘non-humans’ but I learned that ‘Youma’ fits them better, but do mention if I should change them back to non-humans]
Strictly speaking, none of it was really Hiroto’s fault, but Ichigo had nowhere else to direct his pent-up anger, so all of it ended up being aimed at Hiroto.
Just as the irritated Ichigo was considering whether he should take the weeds Hiroto had gathered and dump them somewhere, Hiroto stood up, apparently to take a breather, and noticed him.
Hiroto then walked over toward him.
He had a carefree expression on his face as he wiped away his sweat, or at least, that was how it looked from Ichigo’s perspective.
“Hey, Ichigo! What are you doing out here? Did you need something?”
“D-don’t come over here! Every time I’m around you, something else happens!”
Just as Hiroto called out to Ichigo, several members of the girls’ tennis club happened to walk past behind Ichigo.
When the girls noticed Ichigo, they began whispering among themselves.
“Eeeh?! Really?”
“Apparently so. That’s what I heard, anyway… giggle.”
“Aww, he’s actually pretty handsome, too. But I guess I could be into that! It’s kind of hot!”
“Haha! Mai, are you secretly a fujoshi? Though I can kind of see it myself.”
“No way! So is that ‘weed-pulling guy’ his partner? He totally looks like the uke type.”[TN: uke=submissive, I’ll leave rest to your imaginations my dear readers]
“Kyah! But that’s not bad! They might actually make a cute couple!”
And so, leaving behind little bursts of laughter, the girls jogged away.
“……”
“……”
Ichigo and Hiroto stared at each other with utterly lifeless, half-lidded eyes.
A gentle breeze carrying a little dust blew between the two of them, with the cheerful laughter of the girls in the background.
“……”
“……”
(The ‘weed-pulling guy’…?)
“I-Ichigo? This is…”
“Don’t ask, ‘weed-pulling guy.’”
“Don’t give me some weird species name!”
“Shut up, you lowest-ranking soldier of the Weed-Pulling Tribe! You piece of grass!”
“What?!”
Hiroto’s eyes filled with tears as he bitterly protested Ichigo’s insults.
“What the hell! You’re just a lowest-ranking BL warrior yourself!”
“Gwaaah!”
Ichigo recoiled as though he had been shot straight through the chest.
Naturally, his eyes were full of tears too.
“……”
“……”
The two boys glared at each other with tears in their eyes.
And then…
At exactly the same time, they both dropped to their knees and put their hands on the ground.
“Uuugh… How did I end up being turned into someone who’s obsessed with men…?”
“It’s not like I want to be gathering weeds… Uuugh…”
A hot, oppressive breeze went whoooosh past them.
“If it hurts you both this much, you could just stop blaming each other.”
Standing behind the two foolish boys, who were on all fours and shedding tears, was Shizuka Mito, who happened to witness the entire scene. She wore an exasperated expression.
Apparently, she had been on her way toward the martial arts hall.
“Because he started it!”
“Because he—”
“Okay, okay. Just calm down, both of you.”
At Shizuka’s urging, the three of them sat down on the grass.
“……”
“……”
(W-what is this heavy atmosphere…?)
Shizuka was sweating inwardly.
The two boys, completely devastated, sat on either side of her without saying a word. Even Shizuka was beginning to feel uncomfortable.
“W-well, maybe we should analyze the problem first?”
”“Analyze…?””
The two boys turned their faces toward Shizuka from either side, their eyes looking like those of dead fish.
“Hey! Stop answering in unison from both sides! Right! First, we identify the problems in the current situation and then look for solutions! Normally, Hakamada-kun, you’re good at this sort of thing, aren’t you?”
“But even if you tell me to identify the problem… how are we supposed to stop the rumors from spreading…?”
“I don’t think there’s anything I can do about my situation… It was Teacher Mirei’s order, after all.”
“You can’t just say things like that! Nothing will ever get started that way! In any case, you both want to change your current situation, right?”
““Hmmmm…””
“I told you, stop answering in unison! Maybe the two of you actually have similar problems?”
“Huh? Me and this ‘weed-pulling guy’?”
“Huh? Me and this BL guy?”[TN: Raws like literally puts BL in english here]
In an instant, Ichigo and Hiroto moved their faces to within three centimeters of Shizuka’s and glared at each other.
“Hey, hey, calm down…”
Shizuka gave both of them a chop on the head.
“But that’s exactly it! Both of you have been labeled in ways that go against what you actually want, haven’t you?”
Hearing that, the two boys immediately bristled.
“Ah! Right! I want to do something about that—now!”
“Yeah, but how…?”
“That’s what you have to think about. Just worrying won’t do any good. So first, what kind of situation do you two want to end up in? Act with that as your goal, can’t you?”
“I want people to think I’m just a normal womanizer. I want to be treated as an extreme womanizer!”
Ichigo trembled and clenched his fists.
“Is… is that a good situation?”
“Of course it is! I’m proud to be a womanizer! I want to be the ultimate womanizer who’s impressive no matter where he goes!”
“Please don’t be proud of that.”
“I like women! That’s it! I’ll become the King of Womanizers!”
“Are you stupid? You pervert. Well, fine, so that’s Hakamada-kun’s goal! Okay then, Domori-kun?”
“I want the world to know I’m not ‘weed-pulling guy’!”
“Impossible. Well, give up for a month. Got it!”
“Huh? Wasn’t I just being made fun of a moment ago?”
“Huh? Weren’t you just told to say something and then completely denied?”
“Alright, both of your goals are clear now! Next is the plan to achieve them!”
“O-okay…”
“Y-yeah…”
“Then first, Hakamada-kun!”
“Right… It’s enough if people know I’m a womanizer. Hey! It’s a little ordinary, but why not ask girls out on dates? Lots of them.”
“Hmm… but, Ichigo. Isn’t that a bit weak as a way to get called the King of Womanizer? You’re starting from being known as someone who likes guys, which is a minus, right?”
“R-really? I see… yeah, true. To make it obvious at a glance that I’m a womanizer…”
“Ah, Ichigo! That treasured book you lent me before!”
“Hm? Oh, that busty special! Of course—if you have that, there’s no way people would think you like guys! Big breasts are exclusive to women! Hiroto, nice work!”
“I should report that to Matsuri.”
“It’s fine—I’m feeling a little responsible too…”
“Hiroto… you. Alright! I won’t let my friend’s idea go to waste. In other words… ha! If I ask someone on a date holding that book, it’ll be perfect!”
“A perfect criminal. I’ll report this to Mirei-sensei beforehand.”
“Oh, as expected of Ichigo! Alright, now it’s my turn… Anyway, I want to avoid being ‘weed-pulling guy’~”
“Hiroto! Isn’t it your fault for just weeding all the time?”
“Ah… ah! I get it! Is Ichigo a genius!?”
“Well, it’s called weeding.”
“So, don’t just gather grass…”
“Hmm, uh, how about catching bugs and stuff too?”
“Ooh! That’s it! If you do that, no one will think you’re a ‘weed-pulling guy’! Ichigo, how awesome are you?”
“Like a kid’s summer vacation!”
“No… I also get annoyed when my best friend gets called ‘weed-pulling guy.’ Who are they to say that about my buddy?”
“…Ichigo.”
“Huh! Let’s do it! Hiroto!”
“Right! Future King of Womanizer!”
Ichigo and Hiroto sprang to their feet and linked arms enthusiastically.
“I’m worried about the future of these two.”
“Alright then, it’s decided! We start acting tomorrow! Hiroto!”
“Got it!”
Shizuka gently laid her hand on the two linked arms.
“I’m so glad, both of you. I’m moved to see you working together! In many ways.”
“No, this is all thanks to Mito-san!”
“Yeah, she calmed us down and gave us that ‘realization.’ I’m indebted to you, Mito-san!”
“Just don’t ever forget that feeling no matter what happens! No matter what!”
“Of course!!”
The next day…
At Kitsurin High School, on Mirei Takano’s orders, there was one more person assigned to weed-pulling duty, and that boy received the title “Bust-Loving BL.”
Also, the boy who had been a weeder so far gained, in addition to “weed-pulling guy,” the title “the bug-net guy.”
And the busty magazine that this boy had borrowed came to Matsuri’s attention… and so on.
This was just an ordinary slice of life at Kitsurin High. The only thing that had changed was that, for some reason, Matsuri had started drinking milk a lot more often.
[TN: This was really a funny chapter, haaah, getting to read something light hearted is always a good thing once in a while]
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